Get to Know: Alane Miller, Care Associate

In this staff interview, we sit down with Alane Miller, a Care Associate at Christ Methodist Church who specializes in mental health services. 

Alane shares her inspiring journey, from her roots in Arkansas to her impactful career in mental health and pastoral care. She opens up about her childhood, influenced by her parents' professions in the healthcare field, and the formative experiences that led her to pursue a career in helping others. Alane's story is one of perseverance and dedication. She talks about her time in New York, working with various communities, and despite the challenges and emotional weight of her work, Alane's passion for helping others shines through.

The conversation takes a personal turn as Alane reflects on her late husband, Chuck, and his courageous battle with glioblastoma. She shares the love and strength that defined their relationship and the lasting impact of Chuck's legacy on their children, Hattie and Axel, who are now embarking on their own educational journeys.

As a mental health professional, Alane discusses the importance of seeking help and the variety of services offered at Christ Methodist. She emphasizes her commitment to fostering a safe and caring environment for everyone.

Join us as Alane Miller shares her story of faith, resilience, and the profound joy of helping others. Whether you're looking for inspiration, guidance, or a deeper understanding of mental health within a faith-based context, this interview is sure to touch your heart.

Transcript

Alane_Interview

[00:00:00] We're here today with Elaine Miller. She is a care and mental health associate at Christ church. She started with us in March, 2022. Elaine, how are you today? I'm good. I'm doing all right. As is tradition on the show. We like to start with some icebreakers just to get to know each other, have a little fun.

My first question for you is what's one thing that you're grateful for today? Big or small. Today, I woke up grateful for the sun and the cool air. Yeah. And I guess our situation and, um, my children and the opportunity that they're about to embark on going to college. Mm. I'm just grateful for God's provision for that.

It's a lot to be grateful for. That's awesome. Okay. So next question. What's one thing that always brings a smile to your face? No matter how tough your day is probably My kids when I see them [00:01:00] they're gone a lot right now, but when I do see them they walk in the door I would say both of them They're twins.

One's a boy. One's a girl. So they are different, but I love them the same and They are Precious to me. So I would say that that's always brings a smile to my face. That's so great Okay. So third question. Tell me about your favorite vacation that you've ever taken Okay I'm gonna say so growing up my parents took us on a lot of camping trips like camping and hiking trips and When I was about 10 We took a trip We pulled a camper and went to Yellowstone and then into Montana and then ended the trip in Calgary, um, doing a lot of hiking and things like that.

[00:02:00] So, I would have to say that, um, it was a family trip with, um, my siblings, my older sister, my older brother. Wow. Sounds like a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun. That's cool. Okay, so last question and then we'll jump into the actual conversation. In your professional opinion, what's one thing everyone can do to better their mental health?

The first thing I would say is pray with patience and rejoice with hope. That's two things. Yeah. I would say the first thing is Prayer always fills us, makes us feel more connected to our creator and also gives us a peace and comfort that can set the stage for healing. That's beautiful. I appreciate you sharing that.

Okay. So now into the conversation, let's go all the way back. Let's go back to the beginning of Elaine [00:03:00] Miller. Where were you born? Where'd you grow up at? So I was born in Arkansas. Okay. What part? Fort Smith, Arkansas. And when I was two, we moved from Arkansas to Texas to the Dallas area. And that's where I grew up.

Okay. What did, what did your parents do? What were their, uh, professions? So my dad was a pharmacist and my mom was a nurse. And my dad went on to work for, uh, a large pharmaceutical company. And that's the job that he kept, um, you know, our whole lives growing up. Did he get transferred or was it just a decision to get out of Arkansas?

What was the, do you know the motive behind that? I think it was a decision to just, uh, be in a bigger city. Um, and, uh, Eli Lilly is the company that he worked for. So, I don't really know exactly the details on moving from Arkansas. Fort Smith to [00:04:00] Dallas. Yeah, but I know that He was pursuing, you know his career and do you have any memory of Arkansas or is that kind of a blurry spot for you?

Pretty blurry. Yeah, I just you know, just from pictures and things like that. We had you know Animals and puppies and we're outside a lot so Did you did you say what your mom did Okay. She was a nurse. Was she for a hospital or a private practice? What did she? Okay. And that's how they met. Okay. So do you know the story of how they met?

So I just know he was, I guess at this point he was calling on doctors and he came into the office where she worked in often, I guess. And that's how they met. That's cute. Yeah. Okay. So you mentioned you have siblings. Tell me about your siblings. So, I have a sister, her name is Emily McKinney, and she lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and she has four kids.

Okay. Older or younger than you? She's older. Okay. [00:05:00] And I have a brother, um, Jim Holcomb, and he lives in Fort Worth, Texas. And he's, um, lives on a ranch, and has long, longhorn steers, and horses, and that kind of thing. Okay. Cool. Is he younger or older as well? He's older. Okay, so you're the baby. He's the oldest.

In fact, today's his birthday. Oh, yeah. Well, happy birthday So being the youngest of the trio, did you get picked on any or were you were you pretty headstrong? Oh you were? Oh, yes. Oh gosh. How did you survive? Awesome well Fighting back some. Standing up for myself for sure They used to tease me because I didn't You I guess my hair was blonder than everybody else's growing up, so they would tease me about being adopted.

Oh. You know, that kind of thing. Oh, no. So, I mean, did y'all have a good relationship growing up? Were y'all close? Yes. Okay. We were. Lots of playing together and everything? Lots of playing together. I think probably the [00:06:00] thing that binded us together was when we moved to Dallas, my parents insisted that we become swimmers.

Okay. Okay. We joined a swim team, um, and then I continued to swim throughout, I guess, high school. We were on a team that was over, um, or Doug Russell was over the, um, the swim program at University of Texas in Arlington that we, um, competed on. So he was an Olympic swimmer. That's cool. So you say insisted on swimming.

Did you enjoy it or was it kind of a, you felt like you had to do it? I think that it, we enjoyed it, but it was also, you know, a commitment and you had to be on time and you had to be responsible and, um, I think it taught us all obedience and endurance and, um, we were [00:07:00] healthy and, um, so I think it was a good thing, but yeah.

Who is the best swimmer of you and your siblings? So, probably my brother. Um, he did the butterfly, um, really, really well. And I was more freestyle, backstroke. I don't really remember what my sister was, but yeah. Okay, so getting back to your parents and kind of your early family, what kind of, what kind of home life was it?

I mean, a pharmacist and a nurse, it sounds like they were probably pretty busy a lot. They were busy. I think my mom, you know, she, um, really retired when we were, you know, growing up. And so she was in the home more. So my dad was, you know, of course at work and she was in the home, but they were wonderful parents and an example to, to me and really a Testament to me becoming, um, [00:08:00] a part of the helping field.

And I say that because they were both in you know, careers that were in the, in the helping area. But whenever there was anything going on with any of us, um, anything going on in their relationship, they always were on the phone right away trying to find out who could help, how could we could resolve problems and things like that.

I remember when I left for college, They were having some, you know, marital problems and they immediately sought support and strength from their church and our church and their friends. And um, started a Yokefella ministry group that focused on marriage relationships and actually held, you know, held [00:09:00] those groups in our home.

Wow. Whenever any of us. had an issue, you know, growing up, we had, you know, kind of the routine teen challenges and things like that. They were always ready to help and always on the phone and always connecting us to a qualified professional to meet our needs. So, I mean, you kind of alluded to it, talked about the, the path that you chose and help helping others, do you think that was a, I want to be like my parents because this is the field they worked in?

Or do you think it was, you saw the example that they set, and you said that's, that's the real thing here is being able to help others rather than just moving into a field similar to what they did? Yeah, that's a great question. So I have to say, first of all, I felt like early on that I was created. By God, to be in the helping field.

Was that a distinctive moment, or was it just kind of [00:10:00] something that you figured out over time? Do you remember? I just think I figured it out over time. Okay. We always had, we were always taking care of animals, and baby birds, and kittens, and things like that. And then there were times when I needed to, you know, help my brother with, you know, You know, a certain season in his life and as his younger sister.

So, I think that God created me to be, um, in the helping field, but I also think that I was influenced by how I saw my parents seek help when they needed help. And it was a joy to see, you know, walk in the door from being, you know, wherever with friends and, um, having this group of people in our home sitting around in a circle talking about, you know, their marriages.

And, um, it was really, um, it really made an impression [00:11:00] on me to see the outcome of that. It made their marriage better and one of the big things that. Made an impression on, on my, my career, my future. Yeah, that's great. And you know, I'm hearing you talk about all this. Was this something that you were aware of at the time?

Like you were very aware of the healthy household or what sounds like a very healthy household or was it something that you've kind of pieced together later in life and realized like, wow, that was a really nurturing and caring home that I grew up in. Yeah, I think that, um, yeah. Certainly, you know, reflecting back, you see, you know, you realize things when you're, when you become a parent and you realize what your parents did in certain situations, being, you know, having children and that kind of thing.

So it, when you have kids, it definitely helps you realize the dedication that your parents had to, to you and your mental health and [00:12:00] your life and your future. So you've talked about your family and the church that, so can you tell me about what your relationship with church was as you were growing up?

We were raised in the Presbyterian church and I was baptized in the first Presbyterian church, downtown Dallas. And we were always at church. And so I felt like, you know, growing up that was a part of our life. And then when I was in high school, I became more aware of what that really meant, you know, and dedicated my life to Christ, um, at a lock in.

It, I was was there a specific event or anything that you specifically remember about that? It was with a youth group and speaking about, you know, relationships, like your parents helping you with being connected to, you know, resources. [00:13:00] I think a relationship with someone is so important. And so I had a relationship with someone that was A counselor in our youth group.

And, um, he was integral in that day and that time of leading me to Christ and dedicating my life and truly understanding what that meant. You talked about, you know, being in swimming, being involved in the church. What was Yunga Lane into? What were your favorite classes in school? What did you think you wanted to pursue?

What were, what were you kind of like at that age? Well, I knew that I was interested in psychology. Okay. And I didn't necessarily go into that field, but that was one of my favorite, favorite classes. I can't remember exactly which class it was, but you know, I was athletic. Um, so I was on the swim team. I was on the track team.

Um, I was in the choir. I was in a little magical singing [00:14:00] group. So, um, music was my favorite. Was also a big part of our family. My mom played the organ. My dad was in the barbershop quartet, played the ukulele. Wow. Um, but anyway, I digress. No, that's fascinating. So, um, you sounds like you were incredibly busy.

I mean, to be involved in all those different clubs and activities. And I mean, did you have time to do your homework? Like what? Yeah. So, um, I guess one thing that came out of my childhood and, you know, I guess I just learned about myself early on is that I love the challenge of, uh, being outside, of hiking, and doing, like, outward bound type camping trips, which I did with Youth Group, um, a couple of different times.

So, you know, you're having to figure out your food and your back, your backpack, and, you know, you're traveling up so much in altitude every day, and so I just learned early on. An [00:15:00] endurance early on that I could accomplish it in a challenge. Okay. So this, this love of challenging, what do you think it is about a challenge that you'd like so much, and that really drives you?

I don't know. I guess I'm a little bit. of a risk taker. And so I like to say, okay, well, I can probably do that and I can take that on and maybe take on too much, but also enjoying being able to do that. So how do you think going through like the outward bound stuff and all the, the challenges that the physically demanding challenges really, um, prepared you for going into a mental health challenge per se.

Um, you know, in the sense that you have these physical challenges and now you're helping people go through mental, uh, challenges and sometimes even physical challenges. [00:16:00] Yeah. Well, I think that being in, in a helping field, you have to have endurance. You have to, to know that when you're with someone, that, that It's walking through an issue or a challenge that it requires all of you.

It requires you spiritually, mentally, physically, uh, intellectually, and you're drawing on all of those things at that same time for however long, you know, it's usually 45 minutes or an hour. But then also, long term, you're following that person. Following up with them, maybe seeing them more than one time.

That also requires prayer for that person, continued prayer for that person, and following up. So, I do pull on that challenge and that endurance that I think [00:17:00] we've learned from swimming, and from camping and hiking, and from, um, you know, overcoming things in our family. For more UN videos visit www. un. org When I hear you talk about that, you're talking about investing in other people.

And this is no small, like, yes, it may just be 45 minutes, but it seems like you're giving a lot of yourself to that person and you're surrendering a lot of who you are to helping them. Can you tell me a little bit about your heart for that, for investing in people and giving so much of yourself to other people in that way?

I think it has to do with wanting to connect people with. support. And when I see or hear of stories of people with challenges, whether it's a family issue, a parenting issue, uh, a true mental health issue, um, being suicidal, [00:18:00] um, an addiction issue, I genuinely feel something about being able to to help them.

And with many people, they are afraid to ask for help. They don't know that there's all kinds of options for help. And so I think that what we do in the mental health area of pastoral care, It provides a variety of options for people that are struggling and dealing with issues in their life. But, I think to answer your question specifically, it's a desire of my heart to know that someone is getting the help that they need.

As you graduated high school, did you know kind of like what area you wanted to pursue further for education or what were your thoughts there? I [00:19:00] did, I did. I knew that I wanted to, you know, I wanted to go to college. I wanted to, to, um, pursue something in the helping field. Okay. It was at that point I got a little part time job at the Christian Counseling Agency to just observe and be a part of a counseling team, and I worked in the office.

Okay. And, um, working on insurance and things like that and doing some admission work for clients and so it was through that experience and also just you know pulling on my life experiences that I knew that I wanted to pursue education in that and so. So where did you end up going to college and what was your major?

So I ended up going to the University of North Texas. Okay. And I studied counselor education. Okay. They had a great program there, um, a child research, child development program. [00:20:00] I really liked it. So did, did that require any kind of post grad education or was there any more schooling after that? There was not, but I wanted to, to do, um, some kind of, uh, master's program.

Okay. And so I had a really good friend and mentor that said, why don't you go think outside the box and apply to some schools that have great programs for social work. So I applied to several schools, uh, around the New York area and decided on Columbia University. Okay, cool. So I went to New York, I packed my bags and Was that a pretty big culture shift from going from Texas to New York?

It was. It was. I know my mom was very nervous about that. How did you adjust to it? I loved it. Okay. So that, I guess that speaks again to just [00:21:00] loving an adventure and doing something new and different that was going to require new things of me. So you adapted well. I didn't know anybody. I, you know, I, Didn't know I knew where I was going to live, but I'd never seen it, you know, I've never seen the apartment before or anything like that.

So, so earlier you were telling me about your mentor that you had while you were in school at Columbia and some unique experiences you had. Can you tell me a little bit about that person as well as that unique experience? Yes. So she was a psychologist and was a director of an employee assistance program.

Um, And I met her through doing an internship there. We saw a different, different types of clients, primarily people that were in the entertainment business. So Paramount Pictures. And just so she contracted with [00:22:00] organizations to provide that service to the employees. So while there, one thing that stands out was.

In 96, there was a horrible plane crash in Long Island. I think the plane originated from JFK and the engine exploded and all of the people on board the plane perished. And this director was a first responder and sought after for Um, emergencies and things like that. And so she had, um, a group of us go out to the site.

Part of my job was to sit with the family members of the victims while they were trying to identify the bodies. That's, I mean, that's a very heavy experience for someone who hasn't had much [00:23:00] experience for lack of better words. I mean, how did you handle that situation? It was surreal when I think about it, you know, I think back on it now.

Um, however, I feel like through the counseling program at North Texas and through some of my life experiences and through really the under her direction, she was a phenomenal person in addition to a provider. So I think that with that combination of things. It was certainly very sad, like, something like I had never done before, of course.

Um, but again, I think throughout my career, when I think about all the different things that I've done in the helping field, it was always direct practice. So, you might be in, um, an outpatient treatment facility, working with, which I did this, um, working with, um, the transit team. authority union workers or in, [00:24:00] um, that, that situation or in Harlem working in the, um, for Department of Children's Services or in a psychiatric hospital in Queens.

Your population might be different, but at the end of the day, you're, you're really there to help them and to be, um, to them. I mean, just based on some of the work experience you've had, you've had some, you've been in some harsh environments, I can imagine, and dealt with some probably very traumatic experiences.

How do you as a person not become jaded or how does this baggage not weigh you down to force you out of the field? How do you handle that? So, I am so fulfilled by doing it. I am fulfilled by knowing that people are having their needs met. I will say that there was a job that I had [00:25:00] at a season in my life that was pretty challenging.

And so I, um, ended up leaving that, that job, um, to pursue, uh, a different type setting, but it had to do with, I was, we were trying to have kids and I was working in the, the neonatal unit at the med. Um, so working with, um, the babies that had been exposed to drugs in utero and, you know, moms are having their, you know, 11th, 12th.

13th, you know, baby. And after a while, um, I would, I would, I did have a problem continuing to do that just because we were struggling to have kids of our own. So I do, I do want to say that that, you know, that did happen. And, um, so, wow. I mean, [00:26:00] I've been in counseling. I've been on the receiving end, but I've never been on the giving end of counseling.

How, how do you handle situations where the topic, like you're saying in this situation, it's just a little close to home. How do you, I mean, is it an offering of empathy that you have in that situation or is it just kind of a, how do you handle that? Yeah. I think for me, uh, I didn't want to say I was giving up on something, but I did recognize that I needed to protect myself and remove myself from the situation.

Um, not so much out of, um, lack of care or concern, because that's certainly there, but it was more, you know, personal for me. I think some people could maybe separate that out and continue, you know, to work in a situation like that, but I think for me, I just needed to choose something [00:27:00] different. It's interesting to me that you were talking earlier about you like to take on the challenge, you like to face something that's harder than you expect yourself to be able to manage, but in this one situation you had the healthy mindset to say, I need to step out of this, I need to step away from this.

Yeah. Can you talk about that a little bit? I think that in life we all are in situations sometimes where we have to back up and reevaluate and have a healthy boundary so that we can continue to do the work that we're doing and whatever it might be if it's a relationship or if it's a job or I don't know a habit I don't you know that you just want to preserve your health and your mental health so that you can, you know, live your life and take care of the people that you're [00:28:00] taking care of and be a wife, be a husband, you know, be a parent.

So going back to your story, I want to talk about, so you had your time in New York. It sounds like you were there for several years, even after graduating. Okay. So what, what happened after that? Where did you move? Where'd you go after that? So, while I was in New York, uh, my parents retired to a Hot Springs village in Arkansas.

Lived there for a while, and while they were there, they joined the Methodist Church, and they met a couple that had retired there from Chicago, and they had a son that was living in New York, uh, the same time I was. So, I came home one day to see my parents and I went to a Bible study with my dad and I sat next to this woman [00:29:00] and she said, Well, we have a son that lives in New York.

Anyway, long story short, That time that Chuck yeah, and so he was living in New York had been there for 12 I want to you say long story short. I want to know I want to know some details here Did we when she said that were you like, okay, whatever no, no, no Okay, you were interested in it. Okay

So did you just get back and give him a ring or did he call you how does this go down? I'm trying to think how it all happened if my mom or dad I gave them my number. I don't really remember how it happened, but I was back in New York. I was, you know, working at the, uh, the outpatient clinic that I mentioned.

Um, I got this message and I was like, Charles Miller called and I was [00:30:00] like, who is Charles Miller? And I put the, you know, the message on the side and, you know, continued working and, and then he called again. I was like, who is Charles Miller? Anyway, uh, we talked on the phone and he lived in Long Island, but worked in the city.

So he was in the city every day. And so he asked if I wanted to go to lunch and I said, okay, Came to my office. Were you nervous about a relatively blind date? Like how, were you excited? Like what was the emotion for that? I was excited. It was, it was, I wasn't nervous, I guess. I was just, I just thought, well, why not?

Right. Have you been on a blind date? Well, had you previously been on a blind date before that? Okay. Wow. That's awesome. So they let me know he was there and I waited a little bit and I walked I walked into the waiting area and here he is sitting [00:31:00] with all of these transit workers just like holding court talking to them and laughing and, and, um, I was like, okay, this is interesting.

So anyway, we went to lunch and, um, had a nice visit and, um, just started. Dating and seeing each other. That's awesome. So what happened next? So he whined and dined me for sure. Um, he would do things like, he'd have a car come pick me up for a date. What kind of work was he in? He was, he was in pharmaceutical service.

Okay. Gotcha. My dad, so. So, uh, I know y'all got married. How long did y'all, how long were y'all together for? We were together probably a year, a year and a half. Okay, so not too terribly long before you got engaged. That's awesome. Well, that's great. And so is that part of what got you out of New York or what?

Yes. Okay. Tell me that story now. [00:32:00] So when we knew we were getting married, we wanted to be closer to family. Um, my sister lived here and had been raising her four kids here. And of course our parents were in hot springs here, Memphis. Yes. Okay. Sister was here. Um, had lived here for 12 years. 25 years. Okay.

And so we picked Memphis to be close to our parents and close So it was a very Like pointed decision to move to Memphis not a job brought me to Memphis. It was we want to be in Memphis Yes, okay, and then he found a job. Okay here. Awesome Great And so you get to Memphis Children, were they on the table?

When did they come into the picture on the table? Um, Yeah, so let's see, we got married in 98, and then we had Haddie and Axel in 2005. Okay, that's great. Okay, so I want to be very sensitive in this next question because [00:33:00] I know Chuck has since passed. Um, it's not quite a year yet, but can you just kind of give me a brief overview?

Uh, just hit the highlights of what happened, um, so people can know. Okay. In 2020, he was diagnosed with, uh, uh, glioblastoma, which is a brain tumor, stage 4. Went into the hospital for a few days to, um, have surgery. That's actually where I met Jackie. Okay. Jackie Gatliff. Jackie Gatliff came to visit C Chuck.

Come back to that later, but, um, he, um, The doctors gave him six to 12 months to live, and we decided to pursue radiation and chemo, and we got connected with his cancer doctor here, and then [00:34:00] also got connected with cancer doctor at Duke University. And traveled there several times, hoping for a clinical trial.

Nothing ever really came through on that. However, Chuck responded well to the radiation and the chemo. And, um, outlived that, um, prognosis. Wow. He, um, he did really well in 21. And, of course, you know, had to, you know, leave his job. really needed care on a daily basis. And so we found care for him on a daily basis, and we cared for him as well.

And then, um, last year, he just began to decline. But yet again, in February of 23, the doctors said 12 weeks. Hmm. [00:35:00] But he still, you know, he still was He still outlived that prognosis as well. I'm hearing the, the commonality between the two of you and just the perseverance and the endurance. I mean, it seems like he was so much more of a fighter than, I mean, even the doctors could have imagined.

Yeah. Yeah. He, he, people say that you die like you live your life and he lived his life. Yeah. Hmm. He had a very full life and he was very dedicated to his job. He had a great work ethic. Um, he was up early every day out the, out of the house every day, worked very hard. And he was a musician and really wanted to be a musician, but knew that that might not pay the bill, but he played the keyboards in a band and, um, Well, that's I only had the pleasure of meeting Chuck once and I could just it was later in his life.

Um, and [00:36:00] I can just attest to what a wonderful man he was. And I regret not getting the opportunity to know him more. Um, I was very grateful for that, but, uh, just in the sake of keeping a wonderful memory of Chuck alive, can you tell me what was something, what was maybe your favorite thing that you loved about him?

What really, what really stands out that you hope people remember about him? He was a great dad. He, um, always took time to be with them. He had them all built. They built a garden together in our backyard and would cultivate it and do plantings every year. But he, he was a great dad. I want to, I want to say thank you for sharing all that.

I know that's not easy to talk about, but, um, To kind of talk about something a little more joyful now, let's talk about your children Tell me about your [00:37:00] kids so my daughter is Wanting to pursue They just recently graduated high school, correct? Yes. Sorry. Yes, you're good graduated from high school and We've really kind of struggled with where they'd go to college would they stay at home and Be close by or would they go to the same college and be together and um They didn't want to do that They wanted to go their own separate ways and I think to clarify for the listeners your kids are twins, right?

Yes Yes, so that they they have grown up. They've grown up close their whole life. Yes So yeah, this is a big a big challenge for you and them it is and I think a lot of people ask them What's it gonna be like for you to not be you know with with each other and they Minimize that. Oh, it's gonna be great.

Yeah, and then yet just Yesterday I [00:38:00] was noticing with both of them When they walk in the door first thing they say, you know, where's Axel? And he'll say where's Hattie, you know, so I think they They may not realize that they are, we'll miss each other, but it has turned out for them to go separate ways.

And Axel's going to UT and Hattie's going to University of Arkansas. What are they going to be studying specifically? So Hattie is going to study landscape architecture and design. Very cool. And she comes by that, you know, I think through Chuck's influence. And mine as well. My parents were. master gardeners and so that's one of the things that I love to do and so they've seen me do that and so I think that's been an influence for her.

She's quite a great artist and so she loves drawing and things like that [00:39:00] and so I think it's a great, a great fit for her. And then Axel's going to study business, which he's very math oriented and really, really loves. figuring problems out and things like that. And he's going to major in accounting and minor in some type of technology.

I'm not really sure. So yeah, that's awesome. Well, that's great. Um, so now getting back specifically to your story, uh, you've been here since 2022. What brought you to Christchurch? I know you've been a member for a while. Um, but what brought you to working here? So I mentioned, um, Pastor Gatliff, um, coming to visit Chuck and in 2020, and she and I started, you know, just talking a little bit about, um, my job experience and work experience and my desires [00:40:00] to, to help others.

And she said, came out with this one time, she said, well, we're going to work together one day. You know, of course, at that point, that was not in the picture for me, um, caring for Chuck. And so, we just maintained, um, contact. And every so often, she would call and she'd say, Well, would you like to have lunch?

And how are things going? And, you know, so we maintained contact and continued to, to visit about Chuck and our grief. And Then in 22, uh, I kind of figured it out that I could make it work. And found a great place for Chuck, um, Paige Robbins Adult Day Center. And he went there twice a week, and so I was able to start.

working here, [00:41:00] um, for, um, the care ministries and the job that Jackie described fit, um, beautifully with my background and my experience. And of course it was a need. Yeah. So I started out part time and, um, gradually, you know, transitioned to full time and It's been, it's been a, it's been a beautiful, um, blessing.

I'm sure. To be able to be in this position, um, and draw on all my experience. Mm hmm. And also grieve at the same time. Yeah. And, um, and also help others through their, with their grief and their challenges. So it's, it's really [00:42:00] been, um, a beautiful, a beautiful situation for us. That's great. I appreciate you sharing that.

So to get more specifically into the work you do now, um, can you tell me a little bit about the mental health services that you get to offer through the church now? Yes, so I do counseling, assessing, and referral. Okay. So there's lots of parts to that. So Of course, a first assessing what's going on with someone.

And this is just someone who emails, reaches out. Reaching out. Yeah. So, so people come to care mental health through a variety of ways. I want to say, word of mouth, also through church members. And, um, that's just through my going to some small groups. Sunday school classes and introducing myself and talking about the services that that [00:43:00] we can provide and the connections that we can provide to people that are going through challenges and tough seasons in their life and also local pastors and other churches will refer someone and also through our website people are people know that they can Request a phone call from me a phone call from jackie.

They can also submit a prayer request and also a phone call so Those options are available On our website and then people will just walk in off the street. Wow. I had a lady, you know someone call It was just yesterday that She found us on our website and really needed a referral for, for her son. So, yeah, so that's the assessing part.

Then the referral part really depends on, of course, what the issue [00:44:00] is. And so that determines what community partner agency that we would refer them to. So we have quite a nice set of referrals. providers that we use. Someone might need medication. So we have psychiatric nurse practitioners that we use that are Christian and also facility that might have also counseling plus the psychiatric piece to it.

That's the referral piece of it. If the situation doesn't warrant counseling, Long term counseling or if there's no serious Urgent issue like, you know, I've had someone that was suicidal before and so of course that required a Really? Yeah great Referral and so in a case where it's not that [00:45:00] Urgent it might be a relationship issue.

It might be a boundary issue. It might be, uh, something that requires just some education. Sure. And some resources. Some books and things like that. Then I will walk alongside them for as long as I can. So that is a more like long term type scenario. For someone who, who is hearing this and they may have some, some kind of personal issue that they want to deal with, But they're afraid because they go to church here, their friends are here, their family may come here.

They're afraid that if they reach out, it might get out. That, you know, churches talk sometimes, unfortunately. What's your encouragement to someone who wants to reach out, wants to get help, but may be afraid to because they go to church here or something along those lines? Yeah. So, it's [00:46:00] my hope that the stigma around mental health is decreasing.

I think that it is. I agree. However, I understand, you know, clearly what you're speaking of, and I would just encourage one to trust and be reassured that their information that would be provided is confidential, and that we are obligated to adhere to confidentiality. So, I understand the hesitation. I understand the, the fear.

But I would love to say, you know, trust coming and trust speaking and trust connecting with us so that you could have the support and the care that you need. Sure. Well, Elaine, that's fantastic. I think the best place to finish is Tell me what you're excited about with your role moving forward. Like, what excites you about what's on the [00:47:00] horizon and the work that you're doing?

So, I love the, I love the direct practice. Again, I love knowing that people are connecting. Um, so that, That excites me always. But I also am excited about the premarital counseling that, that I've been doing. So, I've seen probably 15 to 20 couples since I've been here. So, um, I really love that process. I really love being able to help couples overcome issues with, um, communication with conflict, knowing what their expectations are for marriage and their expectations are for parenting in the future and things like that.

So I love that process. We use some material called Prepare and Enrich and it's guided by [00:48:00] online personal assessments that they do. But the process is just fun and rewarding and I do want to say that with every connection every contact that I make of course the first thing is meeting that that first need but it's also always knowing where the person is spiritually and We are always offering our church as a refuge for them if they're not members of our church.

And even if they are, if they're not connected with a small group, or they have unresolved grief in their life connecting with Pastor Gatliff on her grief work, ultimately my hope is that we're doing a good job of Letting people know about, first, where they are in their faith walk, and, um, what [00:49:00] the church can provide.

Well, Elaine, I, there's so much more we can unpack here, but, but on behalf of the congregation, I just want to say thank you for, not only the work you do, but sharing your story today. I know it's not easy talking about some of these things, but I can tell you. How much we appreciate your openness and how you were willing to share.

So thank you for that. But also just thank you for the work you're doing. We're all excited about it. We can't wait to see where you go with it. So thank you so much for, for everything today. Thank you. Thank [00:50:00] [00:51:00] [00:52:00] [00:53:00] [00:54:00] [00:55:00] [00:56:00] [00:57:00] [00:58:00] [00:59:00] [01:00:00] [01:01:00] [01:02:00] [01:03:00] [01:04:00] [01:05:00] [01:06:00] [01:07:00] [01:08:00] [01:09:00] [01:10:00] [01:11:00] [01:12:00] [01:13:00] [01:14:00] [01:15:00] [01:16:00] [01:17:00] you.