Christ Methodist Church Memphis
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Christ Methodist Church Memphis
Posturing Your Life for God's Purpose | Grant Caldwell
Discover how Scripture flips the cultural script on being unmarried, revealing a calling far richer than the world imagines.
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Paul’s teaching in 1 Corinthians 7 shows that singleness is a good and valuable gift, not a consolation prize. It offers unique opportunities for undivided devotion to God, requires wisdom when moving toward marriage, and provides new family and mission within the church. Whether single or married, believers are called to embrace their God-given season for His glory.
[0:17] Turn with me, if you will, to 1 Corinthians chapter 7.
[0:24] We will be reading verses 25 through 40. It says, Now, concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. I think that in view of the present distress, it is good for a person to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned. And if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. This is what I mean, brothers. The appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.
[1:34] I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes. Let him marry. It is no sin. But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity, but having his desire under control, and has determined this thing in his heart to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. So then, he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better. A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives, but if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. Yet in my judgment, she is happier if she remains as she is, and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.
[3:03] This is the word of God for the people of God. Be to God. Well, good morning. Morning. Welcome to Worship at Christ Methodist. My name is Grant Caldwell. I serve as one of our pastors. If you have your Bibles open, please just keep them open to 1 Corinthians 7. Today we finish our third and final part of looking through 1 Corinthians 7. As a brief word of recap, 1 Corinthians 7, Paul is bringing together believers from different backgrounds into the church of Corinth and giving them similar advice of saying, stay where you are. He says it to those that are married, that you don't have to physically separate, stay where you are. He tells those that are seeking to change their status or change their vocation, he says, stay where you are. And now in this third and final portion of 1 Corinthians 7, we see that he gives similar advice to those that are single. And so today, that is what I want us to address together and answer this question. What does the gospel say about singleness?
[4:06] That what does the gospel say about following Jesus? How does Jesus shape singleness, whether that be due to never getting married, due to divorce, due to your spouse passing away? As we do that, as we explore these truths together, I believe that we see three things that kind of on each other that present and give to us a clear theology
[4:29] of singleness, largely from this chapter in 1 Corinthians 7. And so we'll jump right in with the first one. The first thing we see in 1 Corinthians 7 is that singleness has great value in the kingdom of God. That singleness has great value in the kingdom of God. At the beginning of the chapter, verses 6 through 8, Paul says this, he says, Now as a concession, not a command, I say this, I wish that all were as I myself am, but each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows, I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.
[5:08] Paul teaches them that singleness is a gift from God, and not just a gift, but a good gift, one that Paul himself has as well. For a former rabbi of Paul's stature, he likely would have been married at some point in his life, and so Paul's singleness is unknown in reason. It's likely, though, it's due to either his wife passing away or potentially his wife leaving him as a result of his conversion.
[5:37] Either way, Paul presents singleness as a good gift to be received, as something to be honored, as something to be valued personally and within the church. He teaches it in a way that it is a gift from God, and therefore it has gospel-shaped significance and value. A couple weeks ago when I taught on marriage, I talked about how marriage is a picture of the gospel. And while that's true, the scriptures also lift up singleness in a way that it isn't in opposition of that. That the scriptures do not hold up singleness as something that's in opposition of the picture of the gospel, as if singleness is inferior and doesn't showcase a picture of the gospel. What 1 Corinthians 7 does by intertwining and weaving in together commands towards singleness in marriage is Paul is showing us that singleness is showing the gospel just in a different way. To quote pastor and author Sam Albury, he says that if marriage shows us the shape of the gospel, singleness shows us its sufficiency.
[6:42] But this stands in contrast to what is culturally expected. In Paul's original context and in Corinth, both Roman and Jewish culture would look down on singleness. In Roman culture, the family was the fundamental social unit that was intended to reflect the principles and values of the empire. It was the source of moral guidance and social stability, the foundation of strength and prosperity. Single men and single women could even be penalized by Roman law if they didn't marry. Jewish culture was similar. Jewish culture attached the family as the sign of blessing of God, and the family was the one way that the blessing of God was passed on. And therefore, singleness, barrenness, childlessness was viewed as a curse. One rabbi in one of the commentaries was quoted saying that any man who has no wife is no proper man.
[7:36] We see this with Abraham and Sarah. We see this with Ruth and Naomi. We see this with Hannah, that there's just this sense of great shame that's brought with singleness in the Old Testament connected to the blessing coming through the family. Our culture today is equally confused, though. To choose singleness seems at odds with our culture in a way that our culture places a supreme value on sexuality and sexual expression, a supreme value on romantic fulfillment and romantic relationships. Singleness seems to be at odds with those things, that almost going as far to say that a person can't be truly human without having them. That what matters in life is finding these things, finding romantic fulfillment, finding physical intimacy, and everything else that occurs in life is really just a prologue to get there. And then when you get there, then you really start to live. And if you don't have that, you're doomed to a life of intimacy separated from relationships and family.
[8:41] But what we see in the historic witness of Christianity is that these things stand in contrast to the witness of Christ, who from his ministry and through the beginning of Christianity gave great value to unmarried people. Jesus says this himself in Matthew 19, verses 11 and 12, which Paul's teachings in 1 Corinthians 7 are clearly expounding on. Jesus says this, he says, Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this, receive it. Jesus is saying that singleness and childlessness has great value in the kingdom of God, saying that there are people, some willingly, some unwillingly, that are single for the sake of the gospel. They're single for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. And notice again, Jesus is not saying this from afar. Jesus is saying this as one who willingly became human and then lived and died a single man.
[9:53] Jesus willingly did not marry, did not have romantic relationships, did not have physical intimacy. And by looking at Jesus's example, we have the clearest picture of why not having these things doesn't equate one with not being truly human. To quote Sam Albury again, he says that Jesus is the most complete and fully human person who ever lived. So his not being married is not incidental. It shows us that none of these things, marriage, romantic fulfillment, sexual experience, is intrinsic to being a full human being. The moment we say otherwise, the moment we claim that a life of celibacy is to be dehumanizing, we're implying that Jesus himself is only subhuman.
[10:39] Singleness has great value in the kingdom of God. It's a gift. And central to the gift is how it provides one for the opportunity for wholehearted devotion to God. In this chapter, Paul talks about those with a family having worldly troubles and their interests being divided, but then he contrasts that with those that are unmarried. For the single, it doesn't. Verses 32, 34, 35. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. The unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. And I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. He's saying that those that are single in the body of Christ can have undivided devotion to Christ. They can put their hope supremely in Him. They can put full focus on spiritual matters. They can receive this gift of singleness and live in a way now that will be a signpost and pointer to the reality that one day we'll all stand single, but be in true, full intimacy with Christ.
[11:52] Paul is teaching that the value of the New Testament shows us that being in Christ means that singleness gives you great value in the kingdom of God. You have great value in the church. That those that are single are not showcasing a lesser image of the gospel, but are living a lifestyle that is showing its sufficiency to a watching and confused world. That are living a lifestyle that is the same that our Savior walked himself, that Paul walked himself and whose wholehearted devotion to God is a great gift to receive.
[12:28] And because it is so highly valued, we see in 1 Corinthians 7 this second idea about singleness come into play, that those that leave singleness should not rush into marriage. That those that are single, because it is such a highly exalted gift, because it is so good towards one's wholehearted devotion, you shouldn't rush into marriage. Many conversations on singleness present it either directly or indirectly as its purpose is to exit as soon and as quickly as possible into marriage. Even talks like this can sometimes be framed in a way where their whole angle is that singleness is preparation for marriage. But as we just saw, that's not the case that 1 Corinthians 7 shows us, that it has high value. And then actually what it says is that Those that are looking to leave should take their time and move very slowly, very carefully, and with great wisdom.
[13:31] At the same time, though, many of my single friends are walking in this gift of singleness and feel that it is a gift that if they had their say about it, it would be a gift they'd like to return. And this chapter speaks about these feelings and holds these things together in tension, but in a way that the gospel does. It holds them in a tension that singleness is good. You should be slow to leave singleness and slow to move into marriage. But at the same time, It's not wrong to get married, and it's not wrong to desire marriage.
[14:06] Paul urges wisdom, though. He urges wisdom in the context of rushing into marriage. In this chapter, many of the verses at hand talk about a specific context of betrothal. It's not a word that we frequently throw around here or describe ourselves, but it's similar to engagement, but with just a much higher commitment.
[14:29] Now, our modern concepts of dating and engagement are not found in Scripture. And so, therefore, when we read the Scriptures and kind of take a bridge from Corinth to, Memphis today, what we have to do is apply the principles and wisdom given kind of across this bridge to us. And so when we do that in 1 Corinthians 7, this chapter does have things to say about the wisdom of preparing for marriage slowly. It doesn't say all that the scriptures have about dating and engagement, but it does say some. And again, the message that it gives is that of caution. It tells them a word of caution first, that they should be very slow in who they're marrying, that they should have a lot of wisdom and a lot of caution about who you're getting married to, that who you marry matters. Verse 39, Paul teaches that we are free to marry if we marry in the Lord, that we're free to marry if it is another follower of Jesus. Paul circles back to this idea again in 2 Corinthians 6, where he warns them of the dangers of being unequally yoked.
[15:41] And this isn't to be narrow-minded. It's not to acknowledge status level of difference. It's to acknowledge that a crucial component of marriage is spiritual intimacy together. To not share this is to enter into marriage without truly understanding one another, to truly understand the compass that's directing decision-making and ideas and values and preferred vision for the future.
[16:07] Decisions won't make sense. Values will be misaligned. Problems will start to arise. Keller makes the point that when this happens, the follower of Jesus in the relationship will be faced with two situations, that this follower of Jesus will either be forced to hide their faith, kind of bury it down, and when those moment comes where they want to say, the gospel says this. They'll have to either hide that down and kind of bury it, or they'll have to walk away from their faith for the sake of the other. And both of these are problems that Paul wisely says.
[16:38] That we should consider greatly who we marry. The second thing, though, is he says that we should take great caution in when we marry, that timing matters. Verses 26, verses 29, one of the reasons that Paul's reminding them in Corinth to remain where they are and to stay where they are is due to a present crisis that they're in, that the time is short in Corinth. And some believe that this is about kind of a big picture coming return of Jesus. Some believe that it's referring to a specific reference of a famine that's happening at this time in Corinth. For both, though, Paul is reminding those that are single that there are seasons not to pursue marriage, perhaps while making a large transition, perhaps by working through something that might cloud your judgment, perhaps while resetting proper spiritual priorities, that there's a season to say no. That who you matter, Mary, that when you marry matters, and that for both, there's great consideration about leaving singleness. And that isn't to take great consideration about leaving singleness to trap you, but because it's lifted up and exalted so highly that to leave it and to enter into another state should not be something that should be rushed in to.
[17:59] But he does say that leaving singleness and moving into marriage is not wrong. Verse 28, he says, if you do marry, you've not sinned. And if a betrothed woman marries, she's not sinned. And he repeats it again in verse 36. He says, let them marry. It's no sin.
[18:17] He's telling them that if you are single, you have a desire to get married. You're not wrong for this desire. You're not wrong to leave singleness into marriage.
[18:28] I know for many that are single, the issue and question about desire and singleness is not if you should desire marriage, but wondering why desires for marriage are not being answered. That if these desires are not a sin, that if marriage is a good thing and I desire it, why hasn't God answered these desires? What is the gap between desire and reality? And let me seek to answer that. And before I do, let me acknowledge, I understand that I'm answering this as a married man, and that may cause some of you that are single that have these desires to immediately check out. And let me just encourage you to bear with me, not because of anything with me, but because.
[19:18] I'm called to bear witness to Scripture and stand under its authority, not give advice just because I'm married. The authority of the Scriptures teach us that God does give us desires. He gives us desires for all sorts of good things. For those that are single in this room, you might be desiring a spouse. I know that there are individuals that are desiring work and are waiting. There are couples that are desiring children and waiting. There are parents that are desiring a preferred future for their children and are waiting, I don't have the authority to tell you why your desires and realities are not lining up. I don't know why they're not lining up, but I do know one reason that it's not. And the reason that it's not is it's not that God doesn't see you, it's not that God doesn't love you, and it's not that God doesn't have a plan for your life that is greater and more full than you could ever imagine. And while these desires that we have for good things might be met with a no or a not yet right now, one thing that we can be confident of is that they're not being met with silence.
[20:33] And you say, that's just a sentimentality grant. That may just be hopeful, wishful thinking. You don't know that. And the scriptures say that we know that? Because our Savior in the Garden of Gethsemane prayed something. He cried out that if there's any other way, let this cup pass. That on the cross, he said, my Father, my Father, why have you forsaken me? And Jesus was not answered and was told, no, all so that we in our prayers can always reach the Father, so that we can always have access to God in our prayers. And scripture teaches us that because of Jesus' great love for us demonstrated on the cross, our prayers never fall silent on the Father's ears, and that we, demonstrated by the great love of Christ on the cross, we can trust the giver of the gift that we've received in our station in life. We can trust Him. You can trust that if there is this ability to see for just a moment everything that God sees, past, present, future, if you could see it in light of your prayers, that suddenly your prayers would just make sense, that you would trust that the giver of the gift is good. And therefore, even if you don't understand it, even if it feels like tension of waiting and desiring, you can trust him.
[21:49] And to share something that Annie Downs and David Platt were talking about in one of their podcasts, it's possible to hold on to these desires and hold on to stewarding the gift of singleness well at the same time. That to desire a change in station, in life, in a relational status is not to neglect the gift of singleness and not to steward it faithfully, but it rests on where your attention and your contentment are. Paul was able to. You see in his letter to the church in Philippi, he says, I desire to be away with the Lord, but I understand that it's better to remain and I will be content. It rests in contentment that you can hold on to desires. You can hold on to the gift of singleness at the same time, and you can hold them together, not out of your own efforts, not out of your own abilities, but because the Holy Spirit has empowered you and fueled you with this ability to rest in the contentness and the sufficiency and the goodness of the gospel. Singleness, it has great value. Singleness is not something to be rushed out of, and singleness, if you desire to leave it, is something that you can hold onto. But that leaves us to our third and final building block in this theology of singleness.
[23:10] Those that remain single find a new family and a new mission in the church.
[23:16] Those that are single find a new family and find a new mission in the church.
[23:24] Going back to cultural values, our culture presents this idea that the single life is dooming you to a life of loneliness and no children. And for 2,000 years, the church has offered itself as a better way to the lie of that cultural narrative. For 2,000 years, the church has provided a counterculture to that that provides both. Now, it has to be acknowledged that like with many things throughout church history, the church hasn't done this perfectly. That often, in the case of church history, the good and bad are right next to each other, side by side, kind of mingled in together. The good is beautiful. Rodney Stark, in his book, Rise of Christianity sociologists, he says that the early Christian view of including singles was revolutionary. The way that the early church supported widows so well financially that remarriage wasn't an obligation for survival but was a choice based on desire was revolutionary.
[24:27] The bad, though, dulls it. Like, incorrect theologies have cheapened and lessened the high value of marriage. They've cheapened and lessened the high value of singleness at different times in history. The Western church specifically, in a good and right desire to hold marriage highly and in a high place, has been complicit in this larger cultural idolatry of the family. As a result, this at times makes the unmarried feel inferior, shamed, or less than. It's caused those that are divorced to feel like they failed. It's caused widows to feel like that they are forgotten. Of all these things, church leadership and those that are married in the church alike, rightfully open up our hands in repentance of these things, rightfully open up our hands in a desire to move forward in these things and grow in these things to be and build a healthier church.
[25:22] But as we do that, as we consider good and bad together, as we consider the church's successes and the church's failures, let me offer this illustration that I'll borrow from Glenn Scrivener, who I think got it from C.S. Lewis first, that when we have this discussion, and anytime we look at church history, this applies for the topic at hand, but it applies with other things, that there's a difference in distinction between God's design and the failures that you see. That if God's design is a straight line that you draw and the failures of the church are like a crooked or wavy line, the role of the church is to cling and uphold to the straight line, but to acknowledge all the crooked, broken line. And then to say even loudly, we know that there's crookedness over here because we believe the straight line. We only know something's broken and crooked because we're able to point to a straight line and say, this is the way God designed the world. this is what we hold to.
[26:22] And when we look at the straight line of God's design, when we look at what the church offers, those that are single, we see this beautiful picture of family and mission coming together. We see family in the way that the single are not doomed to loneliness, but are brought into a new family, the family of God. I was talking about this with Josh Landon as we were talking about our sermons, and he reminded me of this is the reason that when we're baptized into the church, were baptized with our first name and middle name, but not our last name, because we're joining into a new spiritual family. There's a new spiritual reality in Christ that this family is taking on.
[27:02] As the church, this new family, singles and marries, come together to live and serve in community side by side. And I know that that's happening all over this church. I can't list all love them, but a few that I see up close and personal, one is our family. Here's a picture of our family around us, this Caden's baptism in one of Casey's birthday parties. Casey lives for a themed party. This was, I think, 90s rom-com themed. Anyways, Caden, my son, knows these individuals as family. And in these pictures, single, married, immediate family, friends from church, he calls them all uncles and aunties.
[27:47] We see this in our family ministry, the rich relationship that are being formed among students and children. We see this as Amber and Jacob are leading and launching a new college and young adults ministry and the way they're building this great community for those in their 20s. We see this with Elaine Miller and Laura Greenwell have started this wonderful new Sunday school class for single women in our church that meets right after this service. Community is being formed in the context of the local church so that those that feel lonely find a family. And it happens here through the gospel and through the church. But it's not just family that you find, you find mission as well. We see mission in the way that if the lie is that the single are doomed to know children, we see that in the family of God, the blessings are received through spiritual children found through evangelism and discipleship. I've seen many people make this point. I heard it first from Tara Lee Cobble from the Bible recap. She brings this up where when you look at the Old Testament, children were a source of blessing. That through children, the nation grew, that the blessing of God was received and passed on, and to be single or to be childless, these things weren't just personal issues. They were tied up into spiritual legacy.
[29:08] When you see Hannah crying out for a child in 1 Samuel, it's all the sorrows of being childless, but it's also this picture that she can't pass on the blessing of God. She can't raise up someone to continue the blessings of God moving forward for her.
[29:27] But when you read the New Testament, the language is completely replaced. The blessing isn't passed on through children in the home, but through spiritual children in the church. That through evangelism and discipleship, the church grows. That the blessing of God is received and passed on through spiritual children. That to be single, to be childless, is no longer connected with spiritual legacy. And in fact, to be single gives one a greater opportunity, as we saw earlier, to be wholeheartedly devoted towards making disciples. You see this in Acts 8, when Philip reaches the Ethiopian eunuch and he's studying the book of Isaiah, and he's reading in Isaiah 53 and he's confused about it. What do we see two chapters later in Isaiah 56? Isaiah says, Let not the eunuch say, Behold, I am a dry tree. For thus says the Lord to the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths, who choose the things that please me and hold fast my covenant. I will give in my house and within my walls a monument and a name better than sons and daughters. I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off.
[30:35] The Ethiopian eunuch is confused. He says, how can this be possible? And Philip's sharing the gospel with him. And he's saying that through the gospel, through Jesus Christ, you have an everlasting name. You will have spiritual children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren all through making disciples. And the Ethiopian eunuch hears this and is baptized and enters into this new family and enters on to this mission of God. I think there's great beauty in the sovereignty of God to be celebrating blessing of the backpacks on the day that 1 Corinthians 7 takes us to the topic of singleness. Because the children that we blessed, they're not just the responsibility of their parents in the home, they're all of our responsibility as spiritual mothers, as spiritual fathers, to come alongside these parents, to come alongside these children, and raise them up in the gospel to pass on the spiritual legacy to this next generation. This is the result of stewarding the gift of singleness faithfully, where wholehearted, undivided attention on the Lord bears incredible fruit for the gospel.
[31:46] I know that there's so many of you that are doing this so well. And I just feel like before we close, I have to say, like your service is seen. God sees it, others see it. And the Lord says to you, well done, good and faithful servant, for those that are serving. Yeah.
[32:08] The high value of singleness presented in the scriptures, presented by Christ, presented by Paul, modeled by the early church, tells the single that you're not isolated, that you're a part of the family of God, that you're on mission for God. It tells the Mary that you're not too isolate, but your family is part of the community and family of God. You're on mission for God. That together, single and married alike, can come together through the church and find deep community, can live and serve in community together, can glorify God and make disciples of Jesus Christ among all peoples together.
[32:46] We could do it together. holding just like this chapter weaves together teachings on marriage and singleness side by side, we can do it side by side at the table as well. Trusting and knowing that as we are a part of this community, side by side with one another, it's a foretaste of the table that we'll one day be sitting at in eternity. That at the marriage supper of the Lamb, we'll be sitting side by side with one another, not based on our marital status or our station or our vocation in life, will be seated side by side at the great marriage supper of the Lamb because Jesus Christ, through his life and death and resurrection, looked down at us and our loneliness and said, I want him or I want her to be a part of this new family.
[33:35] And because of that great reality, we live incredibly different now in this church, single and married alike, making much of Jesus' name and making much of the gospel. You pray with me.
[33:53] Father, in a world with so much confusion about singleness, we praise you that you speak with clarity about the value and dignity of all made in your image, that you look at us not based on our relationship status, our vocation, our age, our successfulness, but you look at us and give us value simply for the ways that we are made in your image and reflect you to this world.
[34:18] For those that are here this morning that are unmarried, we pray specifically that they would feel your love, that they would feel welcome and a place to belong in this family, that they would be mobilized into areas of meaningful mission. We pray that they would receive and steward the gift of singleness faithfully, but also with space for those that desire marriage to do so with hope and contentment in the gospel. We pray for those that are here married, that we would never fall into the trap of buying cultural lies, that there's this divide between singleness and marriage when it comes to community and mission, that all in the spiritual family would feel welcome and included in each immediate family, that we would join together to make much of your name through evangelism and discipleship. Father, equip us as a church to live differently. equip us as a church to live and serve in community.
[35:15] We ask all of this in your son's name. Amen.