When God Opens the Door: Discerning a Call to Missions

Christ Methodist Church member Rebecca Tilmon shares how a moment of desperation led her to Christ, and how years of prayer, closed doors, and unexpected confirmations are now leading her to serve on mission in Thailand.

Overview:

• Rebecca grew up in church but truly encountered Jesus during a moment of deep anxiety and desperation in eighth grade.
• As she began seeking God more seriously, He stirred a calling toward global missions through Scripture, dreams, and the encouragement of the church.
• Many mission opportunities closed unexpectedly, but each closed door revealed God’s timing and preparation in her life.
• This summer, Rebecca will serve in Bangkok, Thailand, building relationships with college students and sharing the gospel on university campuses.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:02

You're listening to the podcast of Christ Methodist Church in Memphis, Tennessee. Join us for an insightful conversation where faith intersects with real life experiences and discover how God is at work in our world.

Introduction to Rebecca's Mission Journey

SPEAKER_01 0:21

We're here today with Rebecca Telman, longtime member of Christ Methodist Church, product of our youth group. And Rebecca is preparing to go on an extended mission trip this summer to Thailand. And so we just want to get to know Rebecca a little bit before she goes and to talk about how we as a church might be able to support her in that. But first, Rebecca, I'd love for you just to kind of tell us your testimony about kind of how you came to faith in Christ.

Rebecca's Struggles and Transformation

SPEAKER_00 0:51

Yeah, so I'm Rebecca. I grew up here at this church my entire life. And so I was born and raised here. And so I really just grew up in the youth group and doing all those things. My mom was very involved as a volunteer and actually is now like the VBS director and gonna work here now starting in June. So super excited about that. But I grew up there here and just doing all the things that we're all supposed to do. Very much grew up in a household where you come every Sunday and every Wednesday. It's non-negotiable. But I didn't really know Jesus growing up. I dealt with very bad anxiety and just everywhere I went was a struggle because I always thought of what could go wrong. So Jesus was very much acquaintance I met on Sundays, but I left him at church. And so that left with a lot of just hole in my heart during the weekdays and not really knowing who I am. And so I was very bullied in elementary school. And so I just changed for everyone. And so I would get to the end of the day and like would not know where I was or like who I was. And that was really hard. And so I got to eighth grade and the anxiety attacks had gotten worse and turned into panic attacks. And I was very good though at keeping it for my parents. For my parents knew knew nothing about my um anxiety and what I was going through. And one night all the band-aids that I'd slapped on these panic attacks just like ripped off. And I got my worst panic attack in eighth grade. And it was kind of like a desperate plea. I got on the ground, I stopping breathing. And and so I was like, Lord, if you're real, like I've heard all of these things about you, but they're like, you're not in my heart whatsoever. Um and it was just this desperate plea to Jesus to save me because I was really afraid my parents would find me on my bedroom floor. Um, and so and I called out to him, I was like, Lord, like I know you're supposedly the savior, and like I need you right now. I don't need you as a God in the sky, I need you as my friend beside me. Um and I just prayed that he would come and save my life and that I couldn't do this anymore by myself, and that this pride of perfectionism needed to leave me. And so he came into my heart and I had this moment where I was actually above my body and I saw someone hugging me and my body calmed down. Um and I almost like came back. It's a really weird experience to describe, but I came back into my body and and I just started breathing normally again. It was like my lungs had loosened up. And so from then on, it was kind of like this journey, let's find who saved me that night. And so it was more of like, I guess the like lost sheep who found the shepherd but didn't want to leave the shepherd out of their sight yet, but didn't really know the shepherd. He they just knew he saved them. And so just kind of walking with that, I really became a Christian, but I was like, okay, then how do I follow you though? Like, what does this look like on a day-to-day basis? And so that was kind of my whole high school experience was like still following, like trying to figure out how do I actually be a follower of Jesus, not just a Christian by name. And so, and so that really happened for me when I was a senior in high school. That year I actually had a classmate pass away from a motorcycle accident. And that year he actually accepted Jesus the summer before that year, and he came to me during my locker and he was like, You're gonna be so proud of me. Like I accepted Jesus, and like I want to do good, I want to go to college. And just seeing how like life is so like it can be gone in a blink of the eye, and so I was like, I really want to get serious about this, like make my life worth something. And so I started to meet Jesus that year, and and so really was trying to figure out how do I move forward with him. And that year, actually, we had a math teacher who would buy us tickets to the singing Christmas tree. And I happened to go and we're eating at Pyros, and I was with him and another guy, and they were talking about the book Kisses from Katie. And I was like, there was some pull in my spirit, I don't like to read at that time, but I was like, I need to read this book. And so that night I read that first chapter, and I just like started weeping. And it was like my eyes were open to this whole new world, and like this heart I had as a child, but was told to turn off because people would take advantage of me.

Awakening to Missions through a Book

SPEAKER_01 4:54

But whatever let me jump in here for just a second. Okay, so so you really experienced kind of the grace of God through Jesus rescuing you in a moment of turmoil. Yes. And that kind of wakened your heart to the reality that God was real, that Jesus was real, and you you wanted to know him better. And so it was like tell it and then it sounds like this book, Kisses from Katie, like I know a little bit about the book, but that's what started kind of waking you up to the whole world of missions. Yes, is that right? Like that was the book. All right, so tell us a little bit about Kisses from Katie, that book, what it's about, and help help us understand that. Yeah, yeah. And then continue with your story.

SPEAKER_00 5:38

Yeah, so Kisses from Katie is about an 18-year-old from Tennessee. And at that time, I was an 18-year-old from Tennessee, and that was really what I was grappling with was how do I do this? I'm so ordinary, like I could never be used. And so when I saw that book and saw she was just like me, that like really opened my eyes. So it's about an 18-year-old who goes on a short-term mission trip to Uganda and then is just forever changed and comes back and is gonna take a gap year, but goes and just quite frankly never comes back to the States. And it's just her journey of like how does she see brokenness as a naive girl and like bring Jesus there. So she ends up creating this amazing amazing organization, Amazima, and ends up adopting all these children, sending over a hundred children to school, and then now she has her own schools there, and she created all these other books. But it's really just about how this young girl is like so in love with Jesus, she will follow him anywhere. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 6:36

So that's good. So that's that's that's the story that kind of like her testimony was really kind of helped you. And so then from there, like what were the steps that you took kind of towards missions? I guess.

Dreams and Callings

SPEAKER_00 6:49

So actually the first night I read that book, I had a dream. And I feel like that's when the Lord really like the Lord really speaks to me in dreams. That's like the major way. And I was with her in Uganda, and I like could feel I was about to have to leave, and it was legit ripping me apart. And I was like, I don't want to leave, like I can't leave what God's given me here. And she's like, Don't worry, you'll be back. And I woke up from the dream, and it was just like the Lord saying, like, don't worry, like to this mission. Like, you feel like you're in it now, but like I'll bring you back to it. And so, and it's really interesting, every dream I've gotten from the Lord, like I can tell you right now, like everything about that dream I remember so vividly. So then it was that, and I got to college, and so I started to be like, Okay, missions, what does that look like? And that year is actually the hardest years of my life. That I actually, my grandmother's diagnosed with cancer, and so I was like, okay, how do I navigate this? And I feel like it was the Lord really re-preparing me. How do I hold joy joy and sorrow at the same time? Which I think is so valuable in missions because there is so much pain and darkness in the world, and how do you hold that, but also hold like the joy of Jesus with it? And so I started going through that and trying to get on mission trips, and to be honest, door after door was always shut in my face for mission trips that I didn't understand. And but I still kept pursuing because the feeling I felt when I like prayed for the nations, and like my heart literally weeped for every nation, and so I couldn't explain that to people. And so I just kept trying and kept learning, kept reading books about missions and like talking with missionaries, and just for sure knowing like this was a calling from the Lord and continuing to get dreams. And so then I actually met with Natalie Allen here, and I almost gave up on missions for a minute because all the the dreams like were great, but like nothing was happening in real life to me, and I was just really fed up, honestly. And I'd never met her before, she didn't know me. I didn't know her at that point. Missions was still like a secret of my heart, I wasn't telling people. And the first thing I sat down and she was like, the Lord told me you wanted to be a missionary, and I was like, Yeah, and I like started crying in the middle of the hub. But it was just like someone saying that in me because I felt like I just had made it up almost for a minute because nothing tangible was happening with it. And I was just like, Lord, am I making this up? Like, do you actually not want me to the nations? Because like I'll stop, but this is just not making sense. And so to have her say that and then things start opening up again, it was just really the Lord being like, I'm gonna keep you in this hidden place.

SPEAKER_01 9:24

Okay, I want to make a point here. I mean, again, just like draw out this point that you're sharing of like so as you're kind of discerning the sense of calling, like that it's it's coming from the Lord, He's speaking to you through these dreams. It it aligns with what God does in Scripture, right? So like these dreams aren't different than what Scripture says, it's the same. But an important part was like the body of Christ coming around you, right? And so like being able to talk with that with another person, and then that kind of just solidifying it as being real.

SPEAKER_00 9:57

Yes.

Navigating Closed Doors

SPEAKER_01 9:58

And I mean, for those that like we've bit we've talked a good bit about spiritual gifts and how those work in in the church and and encouraging people to explore their spiritual gifts. So I again I just want to name this. Like what happened is that God gave God gave Natalie a word of knowledge. Yes, that's what that is, right? That's a gift that that you didn't talk to her about this, like God God told her what was going on in your her your life. She names it, there's no way that she can know that other than God. And it that again is just a way of like confirming and affirming what God is doing in you. So God used the body of Christ to kind of encourage and affirm you. All right.

SPEAKER_00 10:39

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 10:40

Next step from there you go to like what's next?

Preparing for Thailand

SPEAKER_00 10:42

So more closed doors. Um, and that's my whole journey literally with the Lord for four years, it's closed doors to missions. Okay. But the Lord teaching me during those closed doors. And so the final one that was a real blow was I was supposed to go to South Korea and I got in the okay from my parents. At that point, my my parents kind of knew I wanted to do missions and were kind of easing up to it. And so I was supposed to go to South Korea and I was one second late. They literally told me I was like a couple seconds late to filling out the thing and that someone had taken my spot, and I was like, Oh, okay. That was hard. But at that point, I kind of learned and I was like, you know what, Lord, maybe the Lord sees something I don't see, and all those things. And so I had to say goodbye to my friend who's going to South Korea, and that was really hard because I was like, Lord, I'm supposed to be on that flight, like, what is going on? But actually, that day when I would have been over the Atlantic Ocean, my grandmother's breast to the ICU, the one who was diagnosed with cancer a year before during spring break. And so I went home to spring break to be with her, but it just hit me like I would have not known these things, and I would have been in South Korea. And that week my grandmother ended up ask actually passing away. And just like the grace of the Lord, though, and I was just realizing, I was like, Lord, you saw three months ago what would happen now, and like you knew, like there was such a plane of not in me not being over there. And just like, and I started to look back and see all these other things and like the other trip, I was supposed to be an intern in Uganda my freshman year, uh like that summer after my freshman year. But that was when my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer. And so I pulled back on that at that point. My parents didn't know I wanted to do missions long term, and I was like, I don't want a bad memory or like that happening be what they tie to my mission trip. And it was just not working with money right now, and just it was bad time, and so I had to deny the internship, which is so hard for me. And so just seeing though, like the Lord's hand and all of it, and like, yes, I didn't go on these mission trips, but he's taught me so much about his heart and about his heart for the suffering. And so I almost went on my own journey of learning, even though all these other doors were shut. And so that was tough, but we kept going. And so then this year I got the Thailand trip and just prayers for that and just Okay, so tell tell tell us about Thailand.

SPEAKER_01 13:07

Um, what what is it that you're gonna be doing there? Who are you, what organization are you going with? How long will you be there? All those things.

SPEAKER_00 13:15

So I'm going to Thailand. So I actually am doing it through the BSU at my college. So they have a big partnership with the IMB, the overall missions organization. Um, and so I did interviews, I did all that. And Thailand's actually an interesting trip because it was not on my list of where I wanted to go. So I had like South Korea, Scotland, like all these church planning internships, but all of them had just kind of fallen through. One, I had to be a part of the Baptist church, and I'm not, and so that was just kind of hard to. But then the Lord gave me Thailand. The lady was like, I was praying about it, and I know all these other ones have fallen through, but I really do think there's a place for you in Thailand. And I was like, okay. So yeah, I'm going to Bangkok, Thailand. I'm working with Nehemiah teams and part of their pioneering network. So we're going over there, and they've already started this in a couple universities, but they're targeting mainly universities. So there's like 15 million in Bangkok, but one million of those are college students. And so they've realized, okay, we can really reach these people when they're college and kind of out of their house because there is such an honor-shame culture. So it's kind of a way for them to get there and just really build connections. So I'll be going over there and doing like clubs with them, joining their clubs, playing sports with them, doing like events, like we'll be planning events and parties for them to come to, coffee, just like really living life with these college students. So I'll be there from June 9th to July 28th. So about 49 days. So we'll be just going and living life with them and like evangelizing on their college campus. But the big thing is they have like three they're already doing with, but we're like breaking down at a new college. So that's their big thing is to like, how can we get this new college into this organization? Like, how can we create relationships there? And so they really were adamant and prayerful about sending a college team into there and to reach them with college students and just first build relationship and like build connection and trust, and then we can get the gospel in there with just living life with them.

SPEAKER_01 15:23

Okay, great. And then like I you and I have talked a little bit about like what future might be and what you've prayed towards, like long-term career kind. Like, I don't know, is is Japan still in I still, yes, I still love Japan, which is so funny.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

One of my like layovers is in Tokyo, and then I'm flying to Thailand. But yes, my heart is still for Japan, but also like just been opened up to other nations as I've just been praying and like figuring things out, and just like other religions have popped up, just like the studying of Buddhism and just like how Muslims is actually very big in Thailand as well. So like 95% is Buddhist, and like two to four percent are Muslim, and then like one percent is Christian. But like learning and praying through that, and so like really the Muslim people and nations are really on my heart too. So now it's like in a place of discernment where I feel like the Lord's now giving me all these nations and just seeing where he has next, but like trying not to put them in a box because I'm really bad about that. But yeah, so Japan is still on my heart, but also now all these other nations like Kyrgyzstan and and like South Korean, like North Korean defectors is something too, and like all these things. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:42

Okay. So we'll see. Really just one step at a time.

SPEAKER_00 16:46

Yes.

Support and Prayer Requests

SPEAKER_01 16:47

And the next step is going to Thailand. So how can how can our church support you in that? Are you raising money? How can we pray for you? Like, tell us about that.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

Just for like prayers, I'm going with also like a team I've never met. And so just like prayers for unity and like being the body of the church towards them, and like I think it can be hard when you go on mission trips and you don't always necessarily agree on how you're gonna get the message across. So just like unity and like even if there are disagreements, like we work together as the body of Christ to show his love and compassion to others, and just for like soft hearts in Thailand, like we're going to a place where like accepting Jesus means you're disowned and like thrown out of your family. And so just like softened hearts for that. And mostly too, like they would just be able to take their masks off Thailand. It's known as the land of smiles, but it's all like fake lands of smiles. And so I could really connect on a perfectionist level what I used to be in like that pride. And just like prayers that they would just throw their masks down and just be real with us. And that overall they're like the land of smiles would smile for Jesus. But just safety and travels, because there are wars going on right now. So just prayers that it would like stay calm or like stay over there and it wouldn't affect us at all with traveling or anything like that. But yeah, so how you can like prayers is great, like please support with prayers anything you can give with that. But also if you feel called to or prayers to support financially, I actually I need to talk more with Nathan about this, but I actually have these like prayer bookmarks that I can leave at the front desk if anyone wants to grab those. And I've written actually my email on the back of them. So you can email me, I can give you more information. I can also email you my Venmo. Venmo is the smartest way for me to collect finance right now, just with mailing and all that stuff. But yeah, so Venmo is a great way to support me with that.

SPEAKER_01 18:41

And how much money are you trying to raise, like to support your time while you're there?

SPEAKER_00 18:45

So right now I'm raising$5,350. But um, I've reached almost like$3,000 and something already. Like the Lord's been so kind and so plentiful. But like even now, people can just give like$10. Like, I can so easily reach my goal with that.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

Okay, great. Thank you for being with us. I mean, I think it's exciting. We are gonna have a commissioning May 17th at the church for Rebecca and anybody who's listening to this podcast, encourage you to be praying for for her, for her time in Thailand, and just that the fields be ripe for harvest and that God would be with their team as they're as they're laboring for the Lord. And just also just be praying, like we're gonna be praying that God continues to to clarify his kind of calling upon your life, and obviously, like just from hearing your story, timing's really important so that you're you don't get frustrated with God's timing and just kind of stay with him through the process and see what he opens up for you. So thank you so much. We appreciate you being with us. And I don't know, it would it be okay if we just kind of close in prayer and let me know.

SPEAKER_00 19:52

Yes, of course, I would love that.

SPEAKER_01 19:55

Heavenly Father, we give you thanks just for your sovereignty and for your grace, and Lord, that you have a plan and purpose for each one of us. And Lord, we thank you for rescuing Rebecca in her time of need. We thank you for revealing yourself to her, revealing your heart for her. Lord, we thank you for calling her into your kingdom and into your mission to make disciples of all nations. Lord, and we just pray for now for provision for her as she just steps out on faith to step into that task and pray that you would just help her to be fruitful and to multiply and to see the kingdom grow in Thailand. It's in Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

SPEAKER_00 20:34

Amen.

SPEAKER_01 20:35

Thank you so much, Rebecca.

SPEAKER_00 20:36

Thank you so much for having me. It was so fun.

SPEAKER_02 20:41

Thanks for tuning in to another episode of the podcast for Christ Methodist Church in Memphis, Tennessee. We pray that today's message has inspired and encouraged you in your walk with Christ. To stay connected with our church community, visit us online at Christchurchmemphis.org. We hope to see you this upcoming Sunday for worship as we seek to glorify God and make disciples of Jesus Christ among all peoples.